An atheist asked me: why does a wife have to obey her husband in your religion?
So I said:
What is your problem with “wife should obey husband” exactly?
He said:
Nobody should obey anyone, it’s called freedom. No one should be treated as a slave. if I have to explain this to you, you wouldn’t be able to understand.
Any institution or organization must have leadership.
Members of the institution follow the leader’s instructions (or guidance). The level of obligation to follow instructions is coherent with the level of responsibility/accountability at the leadership level, and the cost of such leadership to the leader.
In the institution of marriage, the husband is the designated leader. He has accountabilities and is responsible for providing for the family. Accountability and responsibility mandate authority. Leadership also has demands on the husband that he must fulfill.
The limits of demands, accountability, responsibility, authority, and obedience, for each member of the family, including husband, wife, children, are all set by God and are not subject to anyone’s special desire or personal inclinations. Essentially, everyone is a slave of and servant to God, and everyone takes the roles that God sets with its responsibility framework.
It should be noted that people who trespass or abuse their authorities or underdeliver on their demands, or escape their accountabilities, are wrongdoers, and consequently become accountable against God for their wrongdoings, and against their peers and bigger society / extended family that stands as a governing body/institution to correct course.